I am sitting here in my favorite old-school yellow rocking chair looking out at the pond, multi-tasking between referee, number crunching budgets, worship and just thinking, while trying to ignore the easter eggs and kleenex scattered on the floor.
As I sit here, reality sinks in that we are moving. That church, the thing that inspires my purpose, my creativity, that I’ve put so much into has ended. One of my favorite things to do on this earth, preaching, that avenue for the moment has closed. The adrenaline, the ability to inspire and encourage people, to plant change in their lives for the good, the tuning into God so that I am like a radio and He speaks through me, it’s thrilling and brings me unexplainable joy. That avenue is closed.
I know that I am still called and He will open another door and although I don’t know what it is or where it is it is still exciting because I have faith in Him. He won’t let me down. I’m willing and He will use me. This makes the situation bitter sweet.
Bitter because it’s ended for now. Sweet because I know in my knower that there is bigger and better coming. Bitter because I have to be patient, sweet because I have preparation time. Thank you Jesus for continuing to use me and for giving my my hearts desires.
Change is here and is continuing to come. My marriage is coming to a close. I am at peace with that. Other things are settling. The business I knew I wasn’t supposed to start from the beginning is closed. Obedience is a tough one sometimes. More is coming, a house is coming, things are moving and there is a peace about it all. It may feel like not too many people have your back, but God always does. He always does.
Things sometimes happen slower than others. Like my 4 year old boy who still soaks his nighttime diapers while his 2 year old sister is fully potty trained and nighttime trained. It doesn’t mean he won’t ever be, somethings, even people, just take more time.
I opened Bible this morning right to Psalms 98 and the first line is “Sing to God a brand new song.” It is time for me to sing a brand new song. A fresh, inspired, purpose-filled, joyful new song. I am ready.