Today I am thankful.
Since we have moved I have not had a “low” day. No it’s not been all peaches and roses but I chose not to let the dragon breath and boogers and whatever serious junk life throws at me drag me down and so far it’s worked.
Now I may not have had a day with darkness (or as some may call it depression) but I most certainly have had a day where the patience that usually exudes out of me (exaggeration maybe?)… just wasn’t there.
Like yesterday. Definitely yesterday. I am going to blame it on womanhood, but there just comes a point in time where the yelling, fighting, booger wiping, vicks vapor rub, food preparing, cuddling, cleaning, your child constantly attached to your hip takes it’s toll on you and you just need a moment of freedom. Yesterday I coffee-ed up and continued to tame my own inner angry dragon who I was very unhappy with for showing up. It’s on days like that when I remind myself that it’s ok to be grumpy, its just not ok to take it out on anyone, the same thing that I tell my little people. It’s ok if your emotions and mood aren’t all rainbows, unicorns and glitter, it’s how you deal with it that matters.
Today while driving the nap time drive with two crying kids, one jabber jaws and one vocalist I realized how blessed I am. How awesome it is to be where God wants you to be. I realized that even though I wasn’t on my A+ mommy game God still loved me the way I was. That He still thought I was awesome, still openly hugged me and wanted to be with me. I thought while driving. How blessed am I that yesterday when I was having a bad day, that my wonderful neighbor saw that and welcomed the two big girls in, even with their craziness, their “wonderful energy” and struggling to feel included self/scariness, to play. She welcomed them in as they are. I am so thankful for that couple hours and for that wonderful neighbor! It is rare for anyone to take both my big girls at the same time actually it’s rare for anyone to take more than one of my children at one time. So that act of acceptance a small reprieve from 4 littles 24/7 365 was welcome and I am grateful.
Then today while we were hanging out with my friend and her daughter at the park we decided to go under the bridge for some fries…yum! P asked to ride in her car and without hesitation she said sure. Insert shocked face. Usually when a child of mine asks to ride with the people we see often we are encountered with a long list of rules; no whining, crying, asking for anything, being rude etc etc before an answer is given. This blew me away, it shouldn’t have, but it did. My children are accepted as they are, for who they are and aren’t expected to change to be with my friend. That is the exact same way God see us.
He wants us to ride with Him the way we are. He still likes us when we are grumpy, when we are angry, sad, silly, He even likes us when we are rude or seemingly unlovable to the world. He accepts us into His car without hesitation, without a list of rules, just the way we are . That is amazing. He loves us just the way we are.