Is anyone else incredibly bothered by the things that are ok to some, but if your perspective is different it’s not ok. As if one group of people’s opinion is the only way?
I was sitting with Addy in the hospital last Sunday with a finger that had a significant strange bubble on it (burn or infection, the doctor was a little confused). With a needle, a brave little girl and antibiotics it is under control. But while we were sitting and waiting in the little blue waiting room there was another mother and her three year old daughter. She was bubbly, dancing and talkative. Addy was interacting with the two and I missed most of the conversation, but at one point Addy turns to me and whispers, “she said a bad word.” The mother responded to her daughter with “it’s ok we all have bad words slip out sometimes.”
This statement bothered me. My topic may seem trivial in todays day and age, but to me it’s kind of like the stepping stone to bigger things and I guess you could label it my pet peeve.
Yes I agree, I like everyone else am not perfect, but when I was a child, these words that todays kids are saying weren’t even knowledge. Granted I was extremely sheltered, non the less I did not have the dilemma of letting these words “slip.” My worst conundrum was thinking “shut up” when someone really irritated me at school. Yet it never “slipped”.
Now that I am older and these words are now knowledge, and life has thrown some curve balls at me I joined the ranks of nearly everyone else in the this world, but still to this day they never slip, I know for a fact that I purposefully chose to use those words. And I chose also to stop again because I don’t want to be like everyone else in the world.
But why is it now ok for three year olds to have bad words “slip” out of their mouths? Because everyone else is doing it? Because that standard is now normal in todays world? If I chose not to live in the world’s standard I am now labeled as judgmental, snotty, little miss perfect and in the wrong. I have experienced the hate for living my life different. For not bowing to the worlds ever changing norms. Just like if people disagree with all the activists in todays world, eating choices or disagree with the majority in politics, just like in Canada if I speak for Trump I get feathered and tarred. It’s often not ok to go against the grain, to have an opinion different from today’s norm. If your opinion is different, it is not uncommon to experience a lot of hate, or to be told that your opinion is wrong.
It is all just an opinion. No one is right and no one is wrong, but many people don’t see this. Many people think their way is the right way and I too must often remind myself that my way is not the only way to do something and if I think it is, it is not my place or job to force it on someone. God doesn’t force us to do anything, we are not robots or His pawns, if we were then He would have forced Adam and Eve to not eat the fruit. If God doesn’t force people, then it’s certainly not my job or anyone else’s job to force opinions or standards on people.
So as that mother in the hospital set the standard for her daughter, that cursing is ok, I smiled, I still was friendly, had conversation, I didn’t hate and I didn’t force my opinion on her. At the same time I certainly did not allow her standard/opinion to change the way I chose to live my life or how I raise my children. I chose to live my life different and raise my children different.
Which brings me back to the original thought that started this blog. My opinion – when did it become ok for three year olds to curse? When did it become ok for my grade two and kindergarten kids to hear their fellow students say every inappropriate and every curse word under the sun? When did it become ok for my 6 year old to be pushed to the ground? For my 7 year old to be called a f****** barbie? For her to be spit at? For her to hear someone her age tell an older kid that they have maggots in their vagina? Obviously the kids are getting their colorful language and actions from home. What kids hear and see is most often what they do. But it is extremely frustrating that at such a young age my kids are surrounded by this, that they have to choose to act different already and they are faced with the consequences already of not joining the crowd. Of not living by the worlds new normal. That is incredibly frustrating for me.
I don’t hate you because you curse. I don’t hate you because you live differently then I chose to live, but just because you chose to live the way you do doesn’t mean my different way is wrong and not worthy of respect.
Having said all this, I am still left in the pickle of raising my children the way I see best in a school seemingly near full of kids whose parent’s feel the opposite of me. I know they way I choose to live brings challenges, I just wasn’t prepared to face it in the kindergarten and grade two school yard. I want my children to have the opportunity to thrive not just education wise but as people. Smart people can get far, but smart people with morals and standards and God will get even farther. I visited the christian school in town last week and will be visiting again this week and number crunching aggressively as I am just not ok with the things the girls come home hearing from this school they have only been in for two months.
Mama dragon wants to protect at this point in the game, not challenge them already.
My opinion. I am not better than anyone, it’s just the way I chose to live, without the colorful language, with respect and raising ladies and a gentleman.
One of my adorable little ladies.